Happiness, Grief, and The Pause: A Conversation That Still Echoes

What I learned from sitting with Sue Tobin, again.

What is happiness?

It’s a question so often answered with clichés and surface-level desires. But what happens when you ask someone who has sat with death, with grief, with the unraveling of ego and identity? What happens when the question isn’t a pursuit — but a pause?

Months ago, I had the deep privilege of sitting down again with Sue Tobin, a former palliative care nurse, mystic, and spiritual guide. Our first interview touched many hearts. This one went deeper.

Sue is not a woman who theorizes happiness — she has walked through the fire, held hands with those on their final breath, and lived a life in service to something greater than the self. When she suggested we speak about happiness, I knew it would not be a conversation about chasing joy. It would be about remembering it — even in grief, even in stillness, even in the letting go.

We spoke of:

• The illusions we cling to and the suffering they create.

• How “the pause” — a practice Sue embodies so naturally — becomes the doorway to true awareness.

• The spiritual humor in our striving and seeking.

• The grief that teaches, the ego that protects, and the soul that waits patiently beneath it all.

This wasn’t an interview. It was a mirror. A transmission. A medicine.

“You can’t buy happiness. You have to be it.” — Sue Tobin

If you are navigating loss… if you’ve been on the path long enough to realize happiness is not a destination but a remembering… or if you simply want to hear truth spoken with humor, humility, and grace — then I invite you to watch:

Watch the full interview here

“What Is Happiness? A Soulful Conversation on Presence, Grief, and The Pause”

Let it be a pause in your day.

Let it be a breath of something real.

With love,

Ruba

Introspective Odyssey | How I Human